This is a part of a series titled Self-Acceptance where I explain the process of self-portraits I have taken which started during lockdown. It explores themes of self-confidence, working with what you have, and accepting myself (duh).
This is first set to fall under the Self-Acceptance series. This is about two months into quarantine, so I haven’t seen any friends/family for about 3 months at this point. By this time I had healthily lost about 15 lbs, but I didn’t realize how much I’ve changed. I was nervous to post this and nervous to even take the photos. None of the ones I posted had myself facing the camera directly(something I still have trouble with). The caption only mentioned the blanket, but I got some positive affirmation, along with the most likes I got for a selfie. Here’s the one I ended up posting:
This, like many of my self-portraits, took place in my office. There’s a sweet spot that has just enough white wall to serve as my “studio” backdrop. I should’ve fixed this, but you can see that I’m blocking an electrical outlet in the last shot.
Lighting can make or break the photo. My EOS M is terrible at lowlight, so most of my photos take place during the day. I was able to play with the sunlight beaming off the floor/window to get the light to hit from the right and bottom. In turn, the soft shadow cast on the opposite side ads to the dimension.
The inspiration for the shot came from the blanket itself. It’s a Pendleton x Nike N7 blanket. I wanted the pose to feel majestic, like the Native American culture the blanket came from, as well as showcasing the beautiful design. The stoic facial expression was purposeful to add emotion. As beautiful as the design is, I can’t post this without highlighting how Native Americans have endured the pain of Westernization for centuries now, and it still goes on today.
I titled this one Safety Blanket because I was still reserved with how the shoot. I had the blanket draped over me, but my sense of safety came from my positioning. Never turned toward the camera fully, still hiding under some sense of (in)security.
